Keeping Promises…

Today is very hard. One of those “bad” days.

Yesterday in general was great! Rehearsals all day, laughter with friends, and performing at a concert. This was my first concert with this choir in a year and I’m so glad I made it to this one. Then a huge group of us went to the pub afterwards and everyone was feeling very laid-back and chilled.

But later that night an extremely upsetting and difficult memory surfaced for me, and I’m struggling a fair amount today as a result. It feels very silly, because to anyone looking at me I have nothing to be low about. But I have a solid lump in my throat and feel very tired and afraid that if anyone said “boo” too loudly I’ll just burst into tears. It’s one of those occasions where I wish I could just wipe the memory and pretend it never happened. But I know pretending something didn’t happen never helps, and just does my head damage because I’m distorting reality. 

Last year I made a promise to some very very special friends. It was a promise that no matter what, I’d keep fighting, and not give up. I’ve tried so hard to keep that promise but struggle from time to time. I feel guilty when I struggle; like I’m letting them down. I’m struggling today. I’m sorry guys…

Sorry for miserable post. But in order to help others I need others to see it’s okay to feel crap sometimes. I’ll bounce back at some point, but for now I just need to feel rubbish, and know that it’s okay to… 




2 thoughts on “Keeping Promises…

  1. I know this is an old post and I hope you feel better today than you did when you wrote it. But I am reading your blog from the beginning and your blog is soo relatable. It is exactly what so needed to read at this moment in my life. You have an amazing way with words and you have allready made me laugh, cry and think really hard in new ways about certain emotional stuff. Thank you thank you thank you.
    Im going to continue reading now. Did I say thank you? ;P
    (Sorry i my english is crap, I really cant tell cause Im swedish)

    • Hey there 🙂 I’m so glad to hear this blog is helpful for you at this time , and I hope that experiencing the various emotions that have come with it have been useful 🙂 It has indeed made me laugh cry and all sorts whilst writing it! 😀 It helps me so much to write, and heals me further to know it also is a help to others. So thank you also, for letting me know.
      I wish you well on your journey, and with reading the rest! 🙂 Feel free to comment again if any other posts speak to you… x

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