I don’t know what to say.
I feel like my strength has made me alone in this hell. Because if I hadn’t made it through the abuse, I’d still have your tiny hands to hold, and still have you with me. We’d still have each other.
My strength is my enemy, not my friend. And now I am enduring the greatest punishment through being a lone survivor. Because there is nothing more painful than this loneliness. There could be thousands of people surrounding me but I am alone with the memories, alone with the pain and feelings. I have never felt more alone, and that is my worst kind of hell.
What about me was any different? What additional right did I have to make it?
None. I had none. I cheated life and death, and now I’m stuck in pure hell. It’s a punishment for cheating. And one I cannot escape. 😥