You sewed the zip onto my lips,
When I so small I could hardly talk,
So I did not notice my silence,
As I slowly learnt to walk.
I grew older, and walked some more,
And climbed and jumped and ran,
But your zip remained so tight on me,
As I was silently pushed in your van.
Silent I was, once you’d raped me,
Silent I stayed with the bruise,
Silent; the zip which forced me,
You were so sure I would clearly lose.
But you never stopped me from walking,
My lips were all you took,
You never stopped me from writing,
My story lay there in my book.
So without realising it I was speaking,
Without knowing it, I was fighting your war,
As I stepped closer to freedom,
And further away from your door.
And soon, my lips they ached,
As I strained against the zip,
Which I’d forgotten was even there,
Holding tightly onto my lip.
I cried each time you hurt me,
Tried so hard to cry for help,
But the tight zip kept me quiet,
So I could only give a muffled yelp.
Some friends found a way of breaking
At least a part of the bind,
So that I could talk just ever so slight,
Of the pain trapped within my mind.
And yet you were still winning,
Somehow you caught me still,
Again and again you raped me,
And gained your sickened thrill.
Again and again I excused you;
To fight, it made the zip burn,
The pain was far too great,
To be free and speak, I’d have to learn.
And learn I did, two days ago
I suddenly remembered my hands
Which can write my twisted story,
Of how my body had been for a man’s.
But my hands could do much more,
They could move and pull this zip,
If I just used them correctly,
I could undo this bind on my lip.
It felt stiff, and so painful,
As I pulled the zip away,
Allowed myself the freedom,
So that I could sit and say…
“I was abused. It was not my fault.”
I moved my lips with care,
They were stiff after years of being locked,
Almost alien, this free feeling,
Where my voice was no longer blocked.
Abusers, you did not win at all,
For I have found my voice for good,
I can stand for myself and for others,
I can cry all the tears that I should.
You can never re-zip me,
For I now know how to talk,
I know now how to cry,
How to laugh, and how to walk.
You lied to me for years,
Convinced me I was to blame,
Now I can speak, and so can see,
It is you that should feel shame.
Goodbye, you cruel binding zip,
Goodbye scared silence inside,
Hello to freedom and speech;
I can fight for the souls that have died.